Avenging My Obliviousness of AVENGERS

I was not an Avenger fan, but I am one from now in. Thats my immediate reaction after watching ‘Avengers: End Game’.

There is no need to worry. I am not going to spill the beans. Like I mentioned to one of my friend on a Watsapp convo, it is difficult to resist and zip my lips. There is so much to discuss yet so little opportunity to express. I respect the fair expectation of keeping silence for those who have not watched it yet. But it is a question as well, WHY!

Being a newbie in Avengers fraternity, I was thinking where to start. Having watched the End of it, I am curious to know where it all started.

Fortunately, I had seen a few of the movies in the past and that is why I could connect some of the strings but not all of them.

My friend has shared with me the list of those movies that one should watch in sequence to connect the dots. I am sharing it as an image of this post.

I believe, like me, there are many who don’t follow the herd mentality. So, they may not pay any heed to the new release. I consider myself from that category and I went for the new release for my son.

Before I watched the new one, I felt they are creating an unnecessary hype. One of the tactics from the big franchise to cash in. Well, it could be that but still worth watching.

During the movie I discovered there are so many characters and like I said I didn’t follow the sequence, having watched a few made me realise that they are a piece of the same pie.

As I am told some of the movies from this series are available at Netflix. So, the first task is to identify them and watch those during the interval of my commute for work, to and fro.

I am not sure how the rest can be found. Since, I have begun I am sure to connect the dots and Avenge my obliviousness of AVENGERS.

Eyeing an Eye Problem…

I sat right beside my mother in the waiting area. She has had the first round of checkup done, after which the nurse had put an eye drop on her eyes. Now, she is supposed to keep them closed unless told to open.

A couple of days ago, while talking about generic things, she had insisted to see an eye specialist. I perceive it as something out of nature. My mother never talks about her health issues, unless it is really an issue. Indeed, a bad habit to contain. That is why I randomly ask if everything is okay whenever I talk to her.

This time I didn’t even have to ask. Due to work constraints, I asked if it was fine to visit the doc on Saturday. She agreed.

Then, finding a good doctor wasn’t that difficult. My brother closely knew the one who was best in the business. I spoke with him to arrange an appointment and it was arranged by his wife.

I reached the clinic with my mother on time. I parked my two-wheeler in front of the building where this clinic was situated.

It took us 10mins to figure out the way in. First, we began climbing the spiral stairway with large steps. After reaching the first floor, we were told to go down and use the elevator to meet the receptionist. It looked like the admission hall of the same clinic but unfortunately, it wasn’t the entrance.

We got down somehow and started looking for the elevator. I walked a few steps faster to check if we are heading in the right direction.

I kept turning back in every 3-4 secs to ensure my mother was fine. I saw that she was already panting. The summer is at its peak and so was the Sun plus it wasn’t just her eye that she had a problem with, she already has other bone-related medical condition and high blood pressure. So, I am ought to be careful. Right now, her body doesn’t stand a chance to afford any sort of accident or incident for that matter.

’How to get in?’, I asked the security guard pointing out to the unlit neon sign which bore the clinic’s name.

The confusion was that there were two different clinics in the same building. The other one was familiar to me because that’s where I used to take my son for a check-up whenever required; to the paediatrician.

I didn’t know these clinics shared the common entrance. The security guard escorted us towards the escalator. And that’s how we got in.

I didn’t have much to do. While we waited for our turn, I thought why not write a post about it. I got busy writing but a sudden call for my mother broke my trail of thoughts. The attendant asked us to wait at the mini-waiting room near to docs cabin.

In about 15 mins we were out. The credit goes to the process. The preliminary checkup and the diagnosis was already done by junior doctors while we waited in the queue.

The diagnosis identified a slight rise in the power of spectacles that she was supposed to wear now.

Thanks to the optician available within the clinic. We zeroed into the type of glasses and frame and moved out.

I was relieved while I revisited what doctor said while descending the stairs of the clinic. ’Nothing that cannot be cured’.

Live or Survive?

It’s the end of another beautiful day. Literally, on all counts.

I believe each day brings some change in us. As a matter of fact, we all get older by a day irrespective of the age group we belong. That’s inevitably common amongst us but the difference lies in whether we lived it or survived just another one.

I don’t intend to infer the situation where survival is living. The people who belong to this category are legends. The truth is, they are the ones who can teach us how to live. My heart goes out to them. But there are also a few who have no such limitations, still, they get entangled in their own cobwebs and choose to survive, consciously or subconsciously.

To be honest, if there was a way to rate or rank, I would have beaten each one of them who despite having no disease, pain, inability or limitations are not living their life. Believe you me, I am not making this up. I have been that way for a long time.

I behaved like someone who is deprived and whose hands are amputated. I ran in circles doing the same set of things, accepting things that appeared on my way as my fate. Whether I wanted it or not, anyway I embraced it, without giving a second thought that, ok, the situation is tricky can I work my way out of this or possibly dodge it and save myself. Nope, I didn’t do any.

The flow was from top to bottom with no reverse gear. This implied to my work and my personal life both. Absolutely, hand in hand.

But that was not the end.

It became worse when I started believing that there is no solution and this is going to stay like this forever. There is nothing I can do to change it. I believed it and that is how I was surviving, with no confidence and sense of achievement.

After all, there was a limit to what I could take in and soon I realised that this has to stop.

As we say – ’Better sooner than later’, slowly and steadily, I consciously made subtle changes in my approach. Earlier, be it my work at the office or a personal situation, other’s priority used to become my priority. But now, as an effect of this change, I set expectations keeping my priorities first.

Initially, this change did ruffle a few feathers because those who thought it was easy to impose on me and get things done, are now made to think and consider. What’s important to them, need not be important to me.

Of course, there are exceptions and this does not apply to things that are truly critical.

Gradually, due to repetitive iterations of this change, the people around me started to accept. After all, it is just a matter of getting used to a certain behaviour.

With the approach I had before, the people had gotten habituated to deal with me in a certain way. The renewal of my approach has made them mend their own.

Moreover, I try to create fun-filled ambience, which gives me an opportunity to build rapport with people and improves my chances to establish fair dealings.

Therefore, with this organised approach of prioritization, I could attain a sense of fulfilment and confidence. That is how I live nowadays and not just survive.

I SAID GOODNIGHT…

I had a decent day at work. Nothing new, but ordinary things, which have got more interesting now. Well, I ain’t be sharing any of that now. It doesn’t matter and will not make any difference whether I choose to mention it or not.

I am at home now and just want to call it a day peacefully by keeping things random and lighter. That pretty much resembles my current state of mind. It had been working throughout the day so, I thought my mind deserves some time off to cool off and optimistically wait for a new day.

Not too long ago, I was glued to my TV screen watching another battle unfold. The battle in which gladiators don’t fight with the swords but with their mighty willows and a leather ball. Yes, the gentlemen’s game as they call it, the game that drives me nuts all the time – Cricket.

It is that time of the year when we, here in India, gear up for Indian Premier League, which is also famously known as IPL. That is how I prefer to spend my evenings and my weekends with some good snack to accompany me.

Being a weekday, there wasn’t much room for me to munch on snacks so, I settled with the dinner watching the second half of that encounter.

Anyways, I didnt have any choice, my wife is adamant to keep my health in-check. After hearing a few cases of heart attacks at an early age, she is judiciously monitoring my diet and ensures that I get to eat only those food items that are nutritious and healthy. So, delicious and mouth watering oily snacks are out of the charts.

After the game was over, I had nothing to do but sleep, then I thought why not write a few words and bid a night to you folks out there.

Perhaps, this post goes down the alley of casuals, but do not refrain yourself to share a thought or two.

No matter what…

I wonder how people spend their Saturdays. I am not a traveller but desire to be one. It is an unfulfilled wish. I fear if it remains as a wish before I call it a day.

The circumstances too haven’t been favourable. There is always something or the other that keeps on coming to fill the void. These are in the form of some pending work or undone things that could not be squeezed in during weekdays.

There are other things to be done which is mostly managed by my better half and she does it so well. No doubt, I would remain eternally thankful to her for what she does, frankly speaking, without her support my life would’ve had been in a fix.

Amongst so many things that she does, there is one thing that peculiarly stands out. Each day after school she takes my son for cricket practice. The game that pretty much runs in the blood of almost every Indian men.

I am happy that the love for the game has equally receded in my son’s gene too.

Like most of the parents of currents generation, I do not impose things on my child. I feel fortunate to share a common interest in this game.

Apparently, it is easier for the children to pick up things they see since childhood. That’s what my son had been watching me do. He has seen me passionately following this sport. So, for him to make this choice is something I had always anticipated, but to make this choice so early in his life is a bit surprising. Not only he appears to have taken this up as a passion (at least for now) but has also been progressing well.

I am not sure if he continues to do so for the rest of his life. He may change his decision and may think of doing something else as he matures. Even then, I would continue to support and I would never stop him to pursue what he eventually desires to do or to become in his life.

For the time being, my son goes for a practise every single in the coaching academy located 15 kms away. During weekdays, he clings to my father and my wife to travel and on a weekend it’s my turn to help him meet his destiny. I am thankful to my father too.

So, travelling such a distance is like being on a mini road trip. And I disembark on this trip every Saturday. The only thing that I love to do on my weekends and I would love to spend many more weekends like that.

What will ultimately become of this, us something I don’t know but I would certainly cherish each moment for the years to come. No matter what.

Eggs and more…

It’s the writer’s eye. Anything peculiar and worth mentioning is an opportunity and I got presented with one yesterday. Here’s a quick walk through of what I witnessed.

It was an usual morning. I wanted to go to work but decided against it as soon as I opened my eyes. I woke up with enough time in hand. I could have gotten ready and gone to begin my routine commute. But as the fate would have it, I stayed back.

I thought, ‘Today is the last day before this week ends, why not stay at home and work.’

My intention was to make productive use of the time that gets consumed while travelling to work. I prefer to do that, especially when I am loaded with work and I had plenty to deal with.

As you know, not all intentions are meant to be rightful and clean. There was one craving for a treatment, which it deserved eventually.

I never start my day with empty stomach, not especially when I am at home. I went out to get some eggs from the mini super market located right beneath my apartment.

Luckily, I could lay my hands on one of the remaining tray of 30 eggs. I quickly grabbed it with my both hands and pulled the tray out of the shelf and walked towards the counter for billing.

Being an early hours of morning, there was no queue at the counter. So, I placed the tray there and gestured the attendant to scan. While, I was removing the required cash from my wallet the attendant asked me to step aside and allowed the other customer for billing.

My first reaction was, ‘What the fuck?’ Which I didn’t say out loud but wore that expression for attendant to understand.

In return, she gestured politely while looking at the old lady – the other customer. There was no one else in the queue and as I said the store wasn’t crowded. Then, I thought, ‘I may have over reacted’, and I stepped back awaiting in peace.

The attendant quickly scanned all the items and asked for the money from that old lady. She honoured the payment and was about to leave when the manager stopped her and asked her to come aside.

I ignored it and moved closer to the counter to pay for my eggs. Surprisingly, the attendant did not budge and now in fact was looking at that lady directly. ‘Aren’t they already paying more attention?’, I said it in my breath.

The moment later, I heard that lady pleadingly move at the back of the store, following the same manager and saying, ‘Please spare me this time. You can take the money if you want.’

Obvious to the unfolding situation, I was curious to find out what’s going on and I moved back too leaving my eggs at the counter. Before I could reach there, I saw that lady coming back to the same counter but this time she was told to leave.

‘I am not going to refund your money and the stuff you purchased stays with us. You may call anyone but I am not going to allow this.’, were the managers words and post which that lady left.

The same manager recognised my quizzical look and said, ‘We caught her red handed today. She has been purloining items from the store from last few weeks. She is a thief. But we caught her this time.’

I was amazed. I am not the one to judge the rational for stealing but who does that, when you have cameras all around these days. I already had much of it. I wanted to get going and eat before this episode runs in my head again and again.

‘Now, could you tell me how much I owe?’ I said looking at the same attendant, who looked to be relieved now.

‘153 bucks – Card, Cash or Paytm?’ she asked looking at me.

I was missing…

It’s been a couple of weeks since my fingers found their way here. My eyes are no different, it is taking ages for them to set on a book or at least on a piece of article, necessary to regain its strength.

It’s like being starved for a certain stretch.

Literally, I cannot stay hungry. Forget days, a mere thought of going without anything in my stomach nauseates me. Perhaps, similar instincts are betting for my return.

I seem to have reached my tipping point. Maybe, the post I am writing right now brings my rhythm back all over again. Or else this may too end like a one night stand, where love fades away as soon as the sun hits the deck.

At this moment, my thoughts aren’t the only one in trouble. My ideas and my ability to put a string of words together are also feeling the heat. Apparently, they are hard to come by the virtue of rust that has uncoated my smoothened layer of will, determination and purpose.

I may be sulking like a child who has just heard ’NO’ for ice cream. But the same approach appears to be the only way to bring me back, yet again. And maybe that annoyed child in me doesn’t take NO for an answer and gets the desired flavour in the end.

With that hope and optimism, I announce my return in writing. Guess, this is the missing piece that I am looking for.

Hopefully, this blog doesn’t meet a similar fate, as the last one did and will have the attention of fresh pair of eyes out there.

The World is…

The world is a shitty place to live. Well, you will say ‘ Tell me something I don’t know’. Yes, you know it already, but the uniqueness lies on the experience. How deep, how intense and how horrible… is the question.

A human being is a social animal. Unlike other species where the act of goodwill or atrocity gets defined as ‘Nature’s act’, such things have deeper interpretation in our world.

Why?

Because we possess a power – to think and act, and not just act. Now, in this process, sometimes consciously and subconsciously, we are ought to make thoughtful decisions. Even in exceptional cases, where most of us behave in an impulsive manner, there is a slight quotient of thinking involved in it. Some sort of rational that deems fit in the situation.

All of this is great, isn’t it? And we have had some living examples who dwelled in this world for betterment of self and for the others too.

When things run in hand to hand, where your progress becomes other’s achievement, that indeed would be an ideal world to live in. Of course, that’s not the state where we are today. Except a few great ones, the rest fall in complex blend of two categories.

What are they?

The number one is when things just run in one’s own hand. Confused? Let me elaborate. This is not a ideal state but also not a bad one. In this case, your progress is your progress and it doesn’t have any impact on others. You are just happy and content with your own space and living wonderfully taking your own care from all the threats. I wouldn’t say such beings are not benefactor of the above, they may be but only because of their doings.

Before this post gets lengthy, let’s talk about the other one.

Here, your progress is not anybody’s achievement. But at the same time, your progress is somebody’s loss. The intent is, ‘I am going be there no matter how many get thrown under the bus’. Such beings are undoubtedly smart and their intention is to harm you in every possible way. They will hop happily with a smiling face, sharpening their knives hidden behind and, BOOM it goes piercing your back before even you get a chance to realise it.

These acts often gets misunderstood and misinterpreted as being ‘Competitive’, which is fair win and loss scenario. You won because you improved and excelled and you lost purely because of your short comings.

How shittier the world can be? Well, it depends upon the experience you had, subject to the categories mentioned above.

Buckle up

No doubt the reachability has significantly improved, evolving smart devices and the internet are working day in and out to make it possible. As a result, everyone has got a story of their own, many are floated online to be read and consumed.

The straight advantage is the availability of content in abundance without too much of an effort. The customer-centric environment has encouraged these storytellers to push content online in various formats.

We, as a writer, service provider, companies and even non-profit making organisations are furiously competing to be heard and be the first one out.

Notifications, mailers, messages etc are kept busy to seek a certain amount of our time and attention. The chimes and pings keep us occupied in the process. Some of these are programmed to act as per our behaviour (Artificial Intelligence), aren’t they?

On the other side, as a receiver of these contents, we no longer face the challenge of utilising time to look up for the information we need, but we invest too much of our time in filtering what we are looking for.

Consequently, this kind of indulgence is making us less productive. In fact it disturbs our flow and focus. As I said, it looks at our behaviour but never Accounts the interval or a window of time we prefer. Thus, it has become a distraction.

Too much of availability is becoming a problem. People are looking for an avenue to get away, which is why a few smart devices have started to log our screen time, why? to help minimise the damage. Not sure if they are succeeding enough on that front.

There is also rise in theories that talks about blocking yourself from internet to get your work done or be productive. On a personal note, I could implement some of these thoughts and reaped enormous benefits. But the question is if I could sustain.

The very desire to make information available is becoming a sort of burden. It eats up undesired amount of time in identifying “what is right for me?”

The impact is due to our impulsive behaviour. The current approach demands us to treat every popping information as important and useful. Thereby, it challenges our bandwidth to deal and deliver.

Why succumb to this behaviour? Argumentatively, let technology be the boon and not the curse. This is where our ingrained wisdom should supersede and help us adopt a unique blend to attain and not to get caught in the swirl, as it is the case.

What I want to say is that power lies in you. You and I can individually decide what fits us in congruence. We must protect to get driven and be in control to drive. In other words, let us feel empowered by technology and not get deteriorated by its existence.

I have spoken my heart out from its deepest core. This may be the voice of many who resonate the similar feeling.

So, before we let our hearts to wander, it must sync with our brains and wisely conclude “what is important for me” and not what they (I mean the suppliers, providers, senders etc) think is important.

It’s time! we buckle up and take the control back.

What reading has done for me…

I am fortunate to be surrounded by purposeful thoughts. The credit goes to a self-help book I am reading these days.

It’s not the first time that books have come to my rescue. It always has and will continue to be the solution for problems I encounter. Many times, It solved my problems lurking subconsciously.

In this visually driven world, sometimes I wonder how can reading still be a great source of resolve.

Guess, that’s for readers to know. I am happy to be one of its ardent patrons. And I will continue to be so.

As much as credit goes to the curator of such reads, a little of it goes out, with all due respect, to the habit of reading. In my case, this journey began late when I was a teenager. I really wished if the seeds were sowed much earlier. I thank my friends for paving the way, which later on developed into a habit at the later stage.

The fun fact – Today, they don’t indulge into reading as much as I do. I feel proud on the personal front and disappointed as well for not reciprocating the act and revive this habit into them.

I call it a journey because that’s what it has been for me. I learnt, grew and improved in phases. Some of it has a deeper association with the critical events of my life.

I am fortunate and grateful for what reading has given to me, not only answers to a never-ending list of questions, but also an ability to express myself as a writer.